The demise of ANY relationship, in this case the divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, is a somber event and most would prefer to deal with the issues surrounding such a breakup in private. However, when your last name is Kardashian, it becomes imperative to share the details, almost play by play, with the world at large. But what is it, exactly, that makes teen girls idolize this family (especially Kim Kardashian) and, despite what you may say, even us adults just can’t help ourselves from gossiping about the this family’s late breaking news?

In an article actually published by Fox News last year about the Kardashians, notes that Kim Kardashian,in particular, is a fashion icon for many young girls. She epitomizes modern day glamour and success which is a strong obsession that we see many young people in Generation Y experiencing. Unlike other “heiresses” she has been able to create a very profitable conglomerate based on her image, products, and exploits (sex tapes, playboy spreads, weight loss pills, self tanners, etc.) While those achievements are stellar in the business realm, the other message that is being sent and embraced by Gen Y is that it is BETTER to be beautiful and famous than to to smart and “regular”. As a result of this first family of reality TV, the Kardashians have triggered a ripple effect that has many would be doctors and lawyers opting, instead, to try to become the next best rapper or reality TV star. Did they do this on purpose? Probably not. But the “reality” (no pun intended) is that the bombardment of their presence on TV and online has a definite effect on the minds and attitudes of the current generation.

What do you think of the Kardashian’s effect (positive or negative) on this current generation (Gen Y)?

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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WARNING: This video may be upsetting for some to watch

Just last week, the above incident shocked not only those in China, but has caused a worldwide outrage. An innocent, two-year old child, named Yueyue, was the victim of a horrible hit-and-run accident (see the above footage from a surveillance video) in the city Foshan. However, to the shock and horror of most, no one stopped to help this tiny victim, who was left to lay in a pool of her own blood. Reports state that for seven minutes, she lay helpless until a female trash collector finally did the “right thing” and took the child to get medical attention. However, within those seven minutes, before she was helped, this child was struck, yet again, by another truck.

The latest reports state that the child is currently in a coma, fighting for her life.

This incident underscores the rampant “deterioration of character” in many individuals today. The lack of sensitivity, even to our youngest and most innocent fellow humans, is growing. Have we (not only in the US, but worldwide) become so self-centered that we are entering an age of ‘worldwide desensitizing”?

And what message does an incident like this send to our young people? To date, there are no reports of the drivers who hit this victim, coming forward to take responsibility. And many passed by this child before just ONE person reached out to help. Is this the kind of example we want to show others to follow? The message that something like this sends is painfully clear: Lack of responsibility and lack of sensitivity and lack of character is OKAY.

We not only need to send our prayers and support to this little victim and her family, but we ALL need to take time to assess our own levels of responsibility, character, and duty to others. Are they at a high enough level to avoid such an incident? Are we “OKAY” with no consequence for such a heinous act upon our most innocent citizens? If something like this can happen across the seas to an innocent child with no ramifications, just think of what could happen to YOUR son, daughter, sister or brother right in your own backyard?! And think how grateful you would be to know that in a world headed towards widespread desensitizing, that one person, like the trash collector in China, decided to exercise her sense of responsibility and character to help.

Take time to assess and ponder your own “sensitivity” level.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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Midweek Motivational Wednesday, November 10, 2010

“If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.”   ~Proverb

It has been said that the biggest victory we can achieve is the victory we have over ourselves. This means that when we can control and guide our own thoughts, actions, and words, then we have achieved great success. But in order to have victory over ourselves, we first have to stop making excuses and stop lying to ourselves. In other words, we have to stop being masters in the art of procrastination.

Procrastination is the lack of regulating (controlling) oneself. Those who have made procrastination an art form in their lives tend to do the following:  they don’t pay their bills on time, they let others down by not showing up, they do everything last minute, and they even make excuses when it comes to their own health and well being. Worse yet, procrastinators will look for ways to distract themselves in order to avoid getting the important things done in their lives. Procrastination oftentimes leads to disappointment and failure.

Recently, it was determined that procrastination in college students lead to poor immune systems (more incidences of colds and flu) and even more gastrointestinal problems. And they suffered from higher levels of insomnia than those who did not procrastinate. But where does this habit come from? Procrastination is a learned behavior. Teens and kids who grow up in controlling and rigid households can become procrastinators as an act of rebellion. They often turn to their peers for support and comfort than to their own parents, and these peers will often reinforce the act of procrastination. Adults use it to put off dealing with difficult choices or decisions. As you can see, procrastination is not trivial; instead it has far reaching serious and negative effects on adults and teens alike. It is an act of self sabotage.

Another way to look at procrastination is to understand that it is a form of fear. Many want success in their lives, but are deep down fearful of the very success they crave. “Success equals responsibility” and many do not want to carry that load. Putting things off or delaying the work they need to do to become successful calms their fears. Ironically, that false sense of comfort will later lead to regret and pain when their dreams are not realized.  If we truly believe the words in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”, then we will abandon the practice of procrastination in our lives and make sure that it does not become a habit in the lives of our next generation as well.

Have you become a master in the art of procrastination? Are you delaying your dreams and goals because you are too comfortable living in your status quo? Are you seeing procrastination rear its ugly head in the lives of your loved ones? If so, I challenge you to take charge, take control, and start working towards your future success.

Until next time….many blessings!

Traci

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Brandon Myers’s life, even at the age of 12, was not easy. The child of divorced parents, he was born with a cleft palate and after several surgeries, he still suffered from an obvious speech impediment.  His attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and depression were treated via prescribed drugs and the care of the school counselor. However, regardless of these measures, Brandon endured constant harassment and bullying from classmates.  While not fully confirmed, it is strongly believed that bullying prompted Brandon’s suicide in February 2007. A note was found where he stated that he had enough of this “crappy life”.  (http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=4139504)

Social media has also, inadvertently, contributed to the bullying epidemic. Megan Meier, age 13, killed herself after receiving hurtful messages via MySpace. Thus, social pressures, on and off line, are equally enormous and can heap abundant stress on young psyches.

More recently, Seth Walsh, a 13 year old from California, hanged himself from a tree just outside of his home. Billy Lucas from Indiana, as a result of being mercilessly called a “fag” on a regular basis from other students, also chose to end his young life via hanging. He was 15. And even in college, students are not immune to the effects of bullying. Tyler Clementi, Rutgers University freshman, killed himself by jumping off a bridge when it was revealed that Tyler’s roommate secretly recorded Tyler engaged in sexual activity with another male student. This video was then blasted over the internet. (http://www.yumasun.com/news/page-65064-baughman-bullying.html)

Bullying is a form of abuse. It can consist of mental, emotional, or physical abuse. It involves “repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one group or person’s power over another group or person, thus an ‘imbalance of power’.” In schools, one student or a group oftentimes will bully another student or a group of students. Others may participate or watch due to social pressure and/or trying to “fit in” with the popular crowd. And some research suggests that “normal” school children may not consider bullying as serious or unacceptable as much as adults do; some even enjoy it.

There is a rise in anti-bullying programs across the US.  Families are more apt to seek a legal recourse when offenses happen than in previous years.  And disabled or special needs students who have felt the embarrassment and emotional turmoil of bullying are fighting back by suing the school and/or school board.

A recent nationwide survey, where more than 15,000 students in 6^th – 10^th grade were polled, revealed the following:

30% reported having been involved in bullying

11% were targets of bullying

13% admitted being bullies themselves

6% said they had been both the bully and the victim.

The above map shows the progress of laws being implemented to combat the growing bullying epidemic. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:School_bullying_laws_in_the_United_States.svg)

Dark Blue: Law prohibits bullying of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity; bullying for other reasons is allowed

Royal Blue: Law prohibits bullying of students based on sexual orientation only; bullying for other reasons is allowed

Light Blue:  School regulation or ethical code for teachers that address bullying of students based on sexual orientation

Yellow:  Law prohibits bullying in school but lists no specific categories of protection

Red:  No statewide law that specifically prohibits bullying in schools

Has your teen or tween experienced bullying in school? Do you know of anyone who has been the victim of bullying? What has been the impact on their lives? Do you think enough is currently being done to counteract this growing menace in schools? We welcome your thoughts and comments.

Until next time…

Traci

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While we want to keep our minds and spirits filled with positive and edifying thoughts and information, we can not bury our heads in the sand and ignore the harsh reality we live in today. This harshness, unfortunately, preys on the most vulnerable of our society….teens and tweens.  To better protect and raise teens and tweens with healthy minds and bodies, we must stay informed.  However, the following will be quite disturbing to some, thus, I apologize in advance. Since 2008, the amount of teen prostitution (mostly young girls between 13 and 18 years old) has seen a sharp increase.  Here are just some of the unbelievable and traumatic facts compiled by Melissa Farley at prostitutionresearch.com:

Average age of girls entering prostitution: 13.5

Girls who reported a history of sexual abuse in childhood: 85%

Girls who reported a history of incest: 70%

Those who have/had pimps: 90%

Those who reported rape by pimps: 85%

Those who cited porn as a tool to teach what they were expected to do: 52%

Those coerced into prostitution and attempted suicide: 75%

Completed suicides of prostituted girls reported by all hospitals:  15%

And it has been determined that girls and women in prostitution have a 40% higher mortality rate than the national average. The above statistics pertain to the teen prostitution epidemic in our streets. But what about the fledgling epidemic that’s occurring online? Recently, the popular site, Craigslist, shut down its adult services section due to the increase in prostitution and other unspeakable issues that arose. But, as little as two months ago, a prostitution ring was uncovered on Facebook.  Two men in Indonesia were arrested for running a prostitution service through the popular social media site. Through their service, young girls between 15 and 16 years old, who were already being managed by pimps, were then “set up” with men who saw their pictures on Facebook. The men’s requests were forwarded to the girls’ pimps who arranged the meeting.  The men from Indonesia and the pimps made money from this unscrupulous exchange…the girls, however, made absolutely no money at all.  While the men from Indonesia, who came up with this idea, were taken into custody by their local police, the pimps were not. And what’s even sadder, the girls were not assisted in any way to lead them from this life of vile exploitation. It has been noted that girls from broken homes and troubled backgrounds are much more likely to become easy prey for pimps. They prey on girls with low self esteem and those who are looking for validation any way they can find it. Now, these predators are making their way online to recruit even more vulnerable young women.  This raises a huge concern in two areas that we ALL need to give much more attention:  1) The mental, emotional, and spiritual health of young women (and men) today so that they are not easy victims and 2) The safety factor of the online experience of our teens and tweens.  Let’s not continue to bury our heads in the proverbial sand. Instead, let’s make EVERY effort to help teens and tweens, regardless of their familial background, live safely and securely in this world today.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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Who would have thought that the beloved “Captain Kirk” (actor, William Shatner) would be in the hot seat when it comes to teen morality and teen values? Well, it appears that this is no longer a far-fetched notion.

William Shatner is slated to play the cantankerous lead character in a new sitcom scheduled to air on CBS this year titled, “(Bleep) My Dad Says.” However, the word “bleep,” is not part of the title.  Instead the title uses a series of symbols that I am sure most of us adults are familiar with, to suggest the expletive/profane word that comes from the book on which this new show is based.

In protest to this show’s title, The Parents Television Council went on a letter writing campaign that resulted in letters sent to 340 companies that advertise frequently on TV. The group is asking these advertisers to not advertise on this show unless the producers change the name of the show. As it turns out, even in this more “liberal” day and age, over 85% of parents are concerned about the heavy use of profanity on network TV. However, in a recent poll where over 1,000 American adults were surveyed, while 57% thought that TV now contains too much inappropriate content, the main concern was not profanity. Sex and violence topped the poll. Most thought that the amount of sex and violence on TV is having an adverse effect on today’s teens and compromises their morality.

But, true to form, the executives at CBS have found the “silver lining” in all of this hoopla. Top CBS entertainment executive Nina Tassler has been cited as saying that the network really hasn’t gotten any push-back from any other group than the Parents Television Council. And, that the complaints have “created a lot of buzz” about the series.

And, joining the controversial bandwagon, is another show slated to premiere on August 25^th on the Investigation Discovery network titled, “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” This nonfiction series follows couples with one spouse concealing a “shocking” secret from their spouse (Just minor things such as being a robber or a bigamist…yes, I am being sarcastic!). However, in this case, the actual word “bleep” is used in the title.

In my humble opinion, there is just no need for a blatant profane word to be used in ANY show’s title. Not to sound too “old-fashioned”, but some of the best shows (and movies for that matter) did not and do not need to rely on shock value to draw an audience or give a quality viewing experience for its audience. While it may be totally unrealistic to remove all inappropriate language and content in the world we live in today, more steps and measures can definitely be taken to work towards a more positive influence on the next generation (especially since they are a huge consumer of not only television, but video games as well). For those “techies” out there….the GIGO concept not only applies to computers. It also applies to the minds of young (and older) people in what they see and take in via TV, movies, etc. Garbage IN always equals Garbage OUT!

Until next time….

Blessings!

Traci

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In the past two weeks, a traditional “underground” game played by tweens and teens for many years, claimed the lives of two young girls. Angelena Ohanessian, age 14, was found unconscious in her bedroom closet with a cord tied around her neck in her Northwest Chicago home. She was pronounced dead two days later.  Rebekah Toia died by hanging herself from a cloth belt attached to the top of her bedroom door. She was an honor student at Chicago’s Whitney Young High School. She was just 15 years old. (See http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-choking-game-deaths-20100814,0,1973010.story?track=rss)

In light of these two tragic deaths, more and more teens and tweens are talking about a game that has been around for many years. It has been a well-kept secret amongst young people ages 7-21. And, what is even more disturbing, the game is most “popular” amongst middle school age kids.

So what is this choking game?  Here is a very good description taken from the www.chokinggame.net site:

The Choking Game is played in both in groups and by a lone child. The object of the ‘game’ is asphyxiation, as in, to apply pressure restricting oxygen and/or blood flow to the brain.  This is accomplished by neck constriction and/or chest compression sometimes including hyperventilation.  Diminishing oxygen to the brain produces a sensation.  The ‘high’ are the cells of the brain seizing and beginning the process of permanent cell death.  When the victim is rendered unconscious, the pressure is released and the secondary ‘high’ of the oxygen/blood rushing to the brain is achieved. If the victim is alone – upon unconsciousness there is no one to release the pressure and the victims own body weight continues to tighten the ligature usually resulting in death.

Although the game is played more often by adolescent boys, an increasing number of girls are now participating. And why would ANYONE (young or old) want to play a game that could easily result in their death? Believe it or not, the most common answer is simply sheer curiosity. Some look it as a way to have a personal time out.  Also, peer pressure and the desire to get a “high” sensation are two other common reasons for this behavior. Unlike gang violence or petty theft, the choking game is played mostly by tweens and teens that are getting good grades and come from well-adjusted backgrounds. Thus, this activity could be happening right under the noses of most parents.

How can we prevent tragedies like Angelena and Rebekah from happening to other teens and tweens? The best way is to stay informed of what tweens and teens are doing and initiating the open and candid discussion with them. Be aware of what they are Googleing and searching for on the internet.  Be proactive and do not take this information lightly.  As young people are seeking more and more adventurous outlets, the resurrection of this so-called “game” in the current generation is nothing to laugh about.

Until next time….

Blessings!

Traci

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As we (my hubby and I) jet off on a short vacation to take a few days of rest and “fun in the sun”… I wanted to direct your attention to an article I ran across that is pretty interesting. Check out:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/surefire-ways-to-turn-off-your-teen-1954428

While, as I think back to my own tween and teens years, some of the questions and scenarios Dr. Michele Borba outlines do not ring a bell for me personally, the article is overall VERY informative and can truly help in bettering the communication in your household (or in the household of someone you may know). It is definitely worth a good read!

Enjoy and I will “chat” with you all next week!

Blessings!

Traci

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