The title of this post may not alarm too many folks today. Sadly, the fact that this title does not immediately cause a rush of anguish and shock simply underscores the challenging and oftentimes horrific environment we are in today. It is a somber sign of the state of mental and emotional turmoil our youth are currently facing.

Brandon McInerney was just 14 years old when, one day three years ago, he decided to exercise his OWN sense of justice and fatally killed a fellow classmate, Lawrence King. To Brandon, it was just to kill Lawrence for one simple fact: Lawrence was openly and admittedly a gay male. Because the jurors, at the time of his trial three years ago, were “hopelessly deadlocked”, a mistrial was declared. Now, three years later and the ripe old age of just seventeen, Brandon has plead guilty to this heinous crime and will be tried as an adult on murder and voluntary manslaughter charges.

Brandon was fueled by enough hate and disdain for Lawrence, that he obtained a firearm and gunned down Lawrence in front of his fellow classmates and teacher in a computer lab. The questions that remain are: Where did this hate come from? Why did Brandon decide HE should administer judgment and his own form of justice over Lawrence? Why did Lawrence’s choice of lifestyle “offend” Brandon to the point of violence?

This quote was taken from the American Psychological Association’s report called ” Hate Crimes Today: An Age-Old Foe in Modern Dress”: “Most hate crimes are carried out by otherwise law-abiding young people who see little wrong with their actions. Alcohol and drugs sometimes help fuel these crimes, but the main determinant appears to be personal prejudice, a situation that colors people’s judgment, blinding the aggressors to the immorality of what they are doing. Such prejudice is most likely rooted in an environment that disdains someone who is “different” or sees that difference as threatening.” It goes on to include a quote by Dr. Karen Franklin of the Washington Institute for Mental Illness Research and Training that “…offenders perceive that they have societal permission to engage in violence against homosexuals.”

Personally, I believe this tragic incident could have been avoided. As a matter of fact, many incidences like this one could be prevented if, in addition to the skills of math, reading, and writing, our young people receive in school, that they are also exposed to “practical and spiritual skills that develop and nurture their psyche and attitudes.” It is simply not enough to provide the “basics” of reading, writing, and arithmetic to young people in today’s apathetic society. The false sense of superiority and/or the threat another person’s lifestyle poses are rooted in a skewed sense of self and a lack of understanding in character and attitudes. The media, which is almost a lifeline to many teens, can be very powerful in fueling skewed opinions and perceptions. And sadly, there are not enough sources to counteract these oftentimes negative perceptions and opinions.

In the case of Brandon McInerney, he felt that Lawrence was a threat or was “lesser than”. His personal repulsion lead him to commit an act that he can never take back. As it stands, Brandon will serve 25 years (for manslaughter and for the use illegal of a firearm) for his actions. It is an unhappy ending. And, yet, it is an ending we see more and more of today. Maybe if we put constructive measures (education, mentoring, at home reinforcement) in place to mitigate and get to the root of the hate and rage in teens, stories like Brandon will become less and less prominent. Maybe, just maybe, the justice of hate will, one day, cease to exist in our young people. What do you think?

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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The demise of ANY relationship, in this case the divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, is a somber event and most would prefer to deal with the issues surrounding such a breakup in private. However, when your last name is Kardashian, it becomes imperative to share the details, almost play by play, with the world at large. But what is it, exactly, that makes teen girls idolize this family (especially Kim Kardashian) and, despite what you may say, even us adults just can’t help ourselves from gossiping about the this family’s late breaking news?

In an article actually published by Fox News last year about the Kardashians, notes that Kim Kardashian,in particular, is a fashion icon for many young girls. She epitomizes modern day glamour and success which is a strong obsession that we see many young people in Generation Y experiencing. Unlike other “heiresses” she has been able to create a very profitable conglomerate based on her image, products, and exploits (sex tapes, playboy spreads, weight loss pills, self tanners, etc.) While those achievements are stellar in the business realm, the other message that is being sent and embraced by Gen Y is that it is BETTER to be beautiful and famous than to to smart and “regular”. As a result of this first family of reality TV, the Kardashians have triggered a ripple effect that has many would be doctors and lawyers opting, instead, to try to become the next best rapper or reality TV star. Did they do this on purpose? Probably not. But the “reality” (no pun intended) is that the bombardment of their presence on TV and online has a definite effect on the minds and attitudes of the current generation.

What do you think of the Kardashian’s effect (positive or negative) on this current generation (Gen Y)?

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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In an enlightening article by Janis Whitlock, MPH, PHD called “Why teens addict: The elusive search for happiness” , she details the effects of this quest for happiness and the roads that lead to teen addiction. However, the “good news” is that practices such as meditation has been shown, through scientific research, to help in turn this cycle of teen addiction around, battle their unhappiness, AND put them on the road to being much happier.

I encourage you to read this article (see link above) as this may be just the thing to help an unhappy teenager in your life.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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WARNING: This video may be upsetting for some to watch

Just last week, the above incident shocked not only those in China, but has caused a worldwide outrage. An innocent, two-year old child, named Yueyue, was the victim of a horrible hit-and-run accident (see the above footage from a surveillance video) in the city Foshan. However, to the shock and horror of most, no one stopped to help this tiny victim, who was left to lay in a pool of her own blood. Reports state that for seven minutes, she lay helpless until a female trash collector finally did the “right thing” and took the child to get medical attention. However, within those seven minutes, before she was helped, this child was struck, yet again, by another truck.

The latest reports state that the child is currently in a coma, fighting for her life.

This incident underscores the rampant “deterioration of character” in many individuals today. The lack of sensitivity, even to our youngest and most innocent fellow humans, is growing. Have we (not only in the US, but worldwide) become so self-centered that we are entering an age of ‘worldwide desensitizing”?

And what message does an incident like this send to our young people? To date, there are no reports of the drivers who hit this victim, coming forward to take responsibility. And many passed by this child before just ONE person reached out to help. Is this the kind of example we want to show others to follow? The message that something like this sends is painfully clear: Lack of responsibility and lack of sensitivity and lack of character is OKAY.

We not only need to send our prayers and support to this little victim and her family, but we ALL need to take time to assess our own levels of responsibility, character, and duty to others. Are they at a high enough level to avoid such an incident? Are we “OKAY” with no consequence for such a heinous act upon our most innocent citizens? If something like this can happen across the seas to an innocent child with no ramifications, just think of what could happen to YOUR son, daughter, sister or brother right in your own backyard?! And think how grateful you would be to know that in a world headed towards widespread desensitizing, that one person, like the trash collector in China, decided to exercise her sense of responsibility and character to help.

Take time to assess and ponder your own “sensitivity” level.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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It is truly my pleasure to feature this very gifted and “wise beyond her years” author, Ms. Paige Agnew. At 17, she has released her first book, “Starless Sky”, and is about to release a second book very shortly call “Seven”. Take a minute to read an excerpt from her book below. And definitely check out more about Paige at: www.paigeagnew.com

Starless Sky

As I sat at the red light, I had a choice. I could turn left onto Main Street and pull into the church parking lot, or I could keep going straight towards Dean’s Creek. My conscience pulled me left but my choice no longer existed. I was in the wrong lane and the red light had changed to green so I was forced to go straight. I looked over at the church and saw them all standing there in the parking lot. There were at least twenty people from school crying their eyes out and I was positive that half of them didn’t even know her. It was amazing to me how some people would do anything they could to turn the attention back to themselves. Instead of having people focus on the reason why they attended the funeral in the first place, they would cry their eyes out so other people would spend their time comforting them instead. I parked the car on the street before getting out and being blinded by the unusually hot April sun. I slammed the door hard and walked around the winding creek all the way to the front. I realized that anyone that might see me would think I was absolutely insane. I was in a black dress and black heels wandering around in an old abandoned creek. With the next step I took, my right heel sunk into the dirt. My body lost balance and I fell down hard to the ground before starting to roll down the steep hill towards the water quickly. My body rolled and rolled and then finally hit something hard that felt like a leg. I was so stunned by everything that had just happened that I didn’t have time to think, stop, or scream. I was breathing hard as I laid flat on the ground and not only had my dress flown up about five inches above my thighs, but I also realized I had lost another heel in the process. “You know, I may not know a whole lot about heels but I’m pretty sure that walking on the grass isn’t such a good idea.” My rescuer extended his arm and held out his hand. “Thanks for the tip,” I mumbled. I looked up at his upside down body feeling a little dazed and disoriented. I stood up by myself, ignoring his hand then smoothed out my dress and made sure my messy bun was still intact. “I’m Kennley.” He offered a hand shake. I chuckled a little to myself. Kennley? What kind of a name was Kennley? The image of a Ken Barbie doll kept popping up in my mind. Once again, I ignored his hand and walked away from him towards the creek to sit down on the grass and stick my feet in the lukewarm water. Who was this so called Kennley anyhow and what was he doing at my Creek. No one ever came here. The creek was practically abandoned but I liked it that way. I loved the tall tree that created the perfect amount of shade and the long, winding creek that disappeared in the forest. He felt like an intruder and I couldn’t help but be rude to him. He seemed nice and maybe a little overly friendly, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t looking for any new friends or acquaintances. I was looking for some place peaceful and that place had just been robbed from me.

Blessings!

Traci
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There is no denying that we are living in a generation of “wanna be” celebrities and athletes. There was a time when little boys and little girls aspired to be doctors and lawyers. Now, their role models are L’il Wayne or LeBron James. While there is nothing wrong with teens wanting to be like someone else (as long as the “someone else” is a POSITIVE role model), teens in generation Y are more apt to go to extreme measures for that fame than they did in previous generations. Due an increase in overall athletic competitiveness and a decrease in school funds and scholarships, the potential to be a star athlete has more allure and more appeal than ever before. And with that allure and appeal comes the rise in steroid use amongst teen athletes.

The rise of teenage steroid use and the resultant suicides and abuse have lead to the creation of anti-steroid organizations such as the Taylor Hooten Foundation (http://taylorhooten.org). Taylor Hooten, a promising athlete in baseball, took his own life as in July 2003 as a result of depression he experienced from the use of anabolic steroids. This is just one of many stories that are making the news daily regarding steroid use with individuals under the age of 20 years old.

Meanwhile, many states have cut funds that were previously earmarked for steroid testing in athletes. For example, the state of Texas tested approximately 35,000 teen athletes in 2007-2008. However, between 2010-2011, only a little over 4,500 are scheduled for testing. In states like Delaware, steroid testing has not even started due to concerns of “cheating” on the tests. “The cost didn’t seem to make the bang worth the buck because testing was so easily beaten,” Kevin Charles, executive director of the Delaware Interscholastic Athletic Association said. “We had a real good presentation by a medical intern on how easily one can beat drug testing.” (see more info at: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/010211dnsposteroids-lede.7c36f4.html)

So what can we, as parents and concerned citizens, do to avoid stories like Taylor Hooten? How can we help this current generation overcome the appeal to resort to steroids in order to be the next Brett Favre or Venus Williams? The first step is education. Taking time to talk about the long term dangers of steroid use is vital to guiding teens away from the allure of steroids. Open communication and education may be the saving grace that will equip them (mentally and emotionally) to stand strong against the ever present pressure to be ahead of their peers. To help with these conversations, here are some of the long term health consequences of steroid use (info taken from: http://www.focusas.com/Steroids.html):

• In boys and men, reduced sperm production, shrinking of the testicles, impotence, difficulty or pain in urinating, baldness, and irreversible breast enlargement (gynecomastia).

• In girls and women, development of more masculine characteristics, such as decreased body fat and breast size, deepening of the voice, excessive growth of body hair, and loss of scalp hair, as well as clitoral enlargement.

• In adolescents of both sexes, premature termination of the adolescent growth spurt, so that for the rest of their lives, abusers remain shorter than they would have been without the drugs.

• In males and females of all ages, potentially fatal liver cysts and liver cancer; blood clotting, cholesterol changes, and hypertension, each of which can promote heart attack and stroke; and acne. Although not all scientists agree, some interpret available evidence to show that anabolic steroid abuse- – particularly in high doses — promotes aggression that can manifest itself as fighting, physical and sexual abuse, armed robbery, and property crimes such as burglary and vandalism. Upon stopping anabolic steroids, some abusers experience symptoms of depressed mood, fatigue, restlessness, loss of appetite, insomnia, reduced sex drive, headache, muscle and joint pain, and the desire to take more anabolic steroids.

The second step is being aware of the signs of steroid use, if the teen has already started using, before it is too late. Here are some behavioral and emotional traits to watch out for:

• Quick weight and muscle gains (when used in a weight training program)
• Aggressiveness and combativeness (change in attitude and temperament)
• Jaundice
• Purple or red spots on the body
• Swelling of feet and lower legs
• Trembling
• Unexplained darkening of the skin
• Persistent unpleasant breath odor
• Severe acne breakouts and oily skin

While less and less teen athletes are being tested for steroid use due to lack of state funds, yet, the use of steroids is increasing, the need for “steroid education” is at an all time high. Start by educating yourself and being aware of this trend before it truly is too late.

Until next time…

—- Traci
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Brandon Myers’s life, even at the age of 12, was not easy. The child of divorced parents, he was born with a cleft palate and after several surgeries, he still suffered from an obvious speech impediment.  His attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and depression were treated via prescribed drugs and the care of the school counselor. However, regardless of these measures, Brandon endured constant harassment and bullying from classmates.  While not fully confirmed, it is strongly believed that bullying prompted Brandon’s suicide in February 2007. A note was found where he stated that he had enough of this “crappy life”.  (http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=4139504)

Social media has also, inadvertently, contributed to the bullying epidemic. Megan Meier, age 13, killed herself after receiving hurtful messages via MySpace. Thus, social pressures, on and off line, are equally enormous and can heap abundant stress on young psyches.

More recently, Seth Walsh, a 13 year old from California, hanged himself from a tree just outside of his home. Billy Lucas from Indiana, as a result of being mercilessly called a “fag” on a regular basis from other students, also chose to end his young life via hanging. He was 15. And even in college, students are not immune to the effects of bullying. Tyler Clementi, Rutgers University freshman, killed himself by jumping off a bridge when it was revealed that Tyler’s roommate secretly recorded Tyler engaged in sexual activity with another male student. This video was then blasted over the internet. (http://www.yumasun.com/news/page-65064-baughman-bullying.html)

Bullying is a form of abuse. It can consist of mental, emotional, or physical abuse. It involves “repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one group or person’s power over another group or person, thus an ‘imbalance of power’.” In schools, one student or a group oftentimes will bully another student or a group of students. Others may participate or watch due to social pressure and/or trying to “fit in” with the popular crowd. And some research suggests that “normal” school children may not consider bullying as serious or unacceptable as much as adults do; some even enjoy it.

There is a rise in anti-bullying programs across the US.  Families are more apt to seek a legal recourse when offenses happen than in previous years.  And disabled or special needs students who have felt the embarrassment and emotional turmoil of bullying are fighting back by suing the school and/or school board.

A recent nationwide survey, where more than 15,000 students in 6^th – 10^th grade were polled, revealed the following:

30% reported having been involved in bullying

11% were targets of bullying

13% admitted being bullies themselves

6% said they had been both the bully and the victim.

The above map shows the progress of laws being implemented to combat the growing bullying epidemic. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:School_bullying_laws_in_the_United_States.svg)

Dark Blue: Law prohibits bullying of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity; bullying for other reasons is allowed

Royal Blue: Law prohibits bullying of students based on sexual orientation only; bullying for other reasons is allowed

Light Blue:  School regulation or ethical code for teachers that address bullying of students based on sexual orientation

Yellow:  Law prohibits bullying in school but lists no specific categories of protection

Red:  No statewide law that specifically prohibits bullying in schools

Has your teen or tween experienced bullying in school? Do you know of anyone who has been the victim of bullying? What has been the impact on their lives? Do you think enough is currently being done to counteract this growing menace in schools? We welcome your thoughts and comments.

Until next time…

Traci

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My mother, who was dealing with her own issues of hurt and disappointment, rarely had a positive thing to say about my dad. As a matter of fact, she spent a great deal of time using him as the “poster boy” for WHY you can never trust men! This syndrome is very common in homes where the parents divorce or separate under less than amicable terms. Oftentimes, one parent (more often the mother) either knowingly or unknowingly instills negative thoughts and emotions into the child. The child, in turn, eventually ostracizes the other parent. During all this often, anger, confusion, frustration, and sadness are some of the emotions a child or teen may experience.

Currently, the American Psychiatric Association is faced with a new dilemma as it updates its established list of mental disorders: should a situation, like one cited above and often referred to as “parental alienation” (see http://www.cspas.ca/ for more info), be formally classified as a mental disorder that many children and teens face, or would it just serve as a convenient excuse for parents who actively “poison” their child’s point of view of the other parent?

Some firmly believe that this is just another tool or tactic to be used in situations such as child custody battles. Others feel that by not recognizing this as a true mental illness, children and teens could miss out on the necessary treatment they need to get through potentially devastating ordeals such as divorce. Still others are reluctant to call this syndrome a “mental illness”, but feel it is better categorized as a “relational problem”. For those who propose that it is indeed a mental illness, parental alienation disorder may be defined as “a mental condition in which a child, usually one whose parents are engaged in a high conflict divorce, allies himself or herself strongly with one parent, and rejects a relationship with the other parent, without legitimate justification.”

While parental alienation directly affects the child and parents involved, it also has far reaching consequences. Grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. can also suffer the ill effects of the negative viewpoints and rejection of a parent that children in these situations often display. Yet, there is still a long way to go to prove whether this truly is a condition that warrants psychological treatment.

Whether or not the decision is made to lump this into the category of mental illness or to just acknowledge it as the unfortunate result of a broken home, children and teens can only benefit from support and help in adjusting to being without both parents. More importantly, they can use the help in avoiding the long term effects of harboring anger, negativity, and resentment to either parent.

What do you think?

Until next time…

Traci

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While we want to keep our minds and spirits filled with positive and edifying thoughts and information, we can not bury our heads in the sand and ignore the harsh reality we live in today. This harshness, unfortunately, preys on the most vulnerable of our society….teens and tweens.  To better protect and raise teens and tweens with healthy minds and bodies, we must stay informed.  However, the following will be quite disturbing to some, thus, I apologize in advance. Since 2008, the amount of teen prostitution (mostly young girls between 13 and 18 years old) has seen a sharp increase.  Here are just some of the unbelievable and traumatic facts compiled by Melissa Farley at prostitutionresearch.com:

Average age of girls entering prostitution: 13.5

Girls who reported a history of sexual abuse in childhood: 85%

Girls who reported a history of incest: 70%

Those who have/had pimps: 90%

Those who reported rape by pimps: 85%

Those who cited porn as a tool to teach what they were expected to do: 52%

Those coerced into prostitution and attempted suicide: 75%

Completed suicides of prostituted girls reported by all hospitals:  15%

And it has been determined that girls and women in prostitution have a 40% higher mortality rate than the national average. The above statistics pertain to the teen prostitution epidemic in our streets. But what about the fledgling epidemic that’s occurring online? Recently, the popular site, Craigslist, shut down its adult services section due to the increase in prostitution and other unspeakable issues that arose. But, as little as two months ago, a prostitution ring was uncovered on Facebook.  Two men in Indonesia were arrested for running a prostitution service through the popular social media site. Through their service, young girls between 15 and 16 years old, who were already being managed by pimps, were then “set up” with men who saw their pictures on Facebook. The men’s requests were forwarded to the girls’ pimps who arranged the meeting.  The men from Indonesia and the pimps made money from this unscrupulous exchange…the girls, however, made absolutely no money at all.  While the men from Indonesia, who came up with this idea, were taken into custody by their local police, the pimps were not. And what’s even sadder, the girls were not assisted in any way to lead them from this life of vile exploitation. It has been noted that girls from broken homes and troubled backgrounds are much more likely to become easy prey for pimps. They prey on girls with low self esteem and those who are looking for validation any way they can find it. Now, these predators are making their way online to recruit even more vulnerable young women.  This raises a huge concern in two areas that we ALL need to give much more attention:  1) The mental, emotional, and spiritual health of young women (and men) today so that they are not easy victims and 2) The safety factor of the online experience of our teens and tweens.  Let’s not continue to bury our heads in the proverbial sand. Instead, let’s make EVERY effort to help teens and tweens, regardless of their familial background, live safely and securely in this world today.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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Who would have thought that the beloved “Captain Kirk” (actor, William Shatner) would be in the hot seat when it comes to teen morality and teen values? Well, it appears that this is no longer a far-fetched notion.

William Shatner is slated to play the cantankerous lead character in a new sitcom scheduled to air on CBS this year titled, “(Bleep) My Dad Says.” However, the word “bleep,” is not part of the title.  Instead the title uses a series of symbols that I am sure most of us adults are familiar with, to suggest the expletive/profane word that comes from the book on which this new show is based.

In protest to this show’s title, The Parents Television Council went on a letter writing campaign that resulted in letters sent to 340 companies that advertise frequently on TV. The group is asking these advertisers to not advertise on this show unless the producers change the name of the show. As it turns out, even in this more “liberal” day and age, over 85% of parents are concerned about the heavy use of profanity on network TV. However, in a recent poll where over 1,000 American adults were surveyed, while 57% thought that TV now contains too much inappropriate content, the main concern was not profanity. Sex and violence topped the poll. Most thought that the amount of sex and violence on TV is having an adverse effect on today’s teens and compromises their morality.

But, true to form, the executives at CBS have found the “silver lining” in all of this hoopla. Top CBS entertainment executive Nina Tassler has been cited as saying that the network really hasn’t gotten any push-back from any other group than the Parents Television Council. And, that the complaints have “created a lot of buzz” about the series.

And, joining the controversial bandwagon, is another show slated to premiere on August 25^th on the Investigation Discovery network titled, “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” This nonfiction series follows couples with one spouse concealing a “shocking” secret from their spouse (Just minor things such as being a robber or a bigamist…yes, I am being sarcastic!). However, in this case, the actual word “bleep” is used in the title.

In my humble opinion, there is just no need for a blatant profane word to be used in ANY show’s title. Not to sound too “old-fashioned”, but some of the best shows (and movies for that matter) did not and do not need to rely on shock value to draw an audience or give a quality viewing experience for its audience. While it may be totally unrealistic to remove all inappropriate language and content in the world we live in today, more steps and measures can definitely be taken to work towards a more positive influence on the next generation (especially since they are a huge consumer of not only television, but video games as well). For those “techies” out there….the GIGO concept not only applies to computers. It also applies to the minds of young (and older) people in what they see and take in via TV, movies, etc. Garbage IN always equals Garbage OUT!

Until next time….

Blessings!

Traci

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