The elderly population is quite large and steadily growing. Just over 20 years ago, 8.5 million elderly lived alone. It is estimated by 2020, 13.3 million elderly will live alone. More than 77% of all elderly living alone are women and are more likely than men to live alone with age. Widowhood is the most common situation for older women who live alone. Men who live alone are far more likely to be divorced or have never married. This situation is mostly due to the fact that, in general, women tend to marry men older than themselves and, in general, women live longer than men.

The increase in widowhood as well as the overall economy are just two factors that contribute to the elderly being more susceptible to the “Holiday Blues” than the rest of us. Here are a few more contributing factors and/or mindsets:

1) Unrealistic expectations — The unfulfilled expectation of family togetherness and certain events or traditions can contribute to feelings of loneliness, despair, and sometimes anger.

2) Anticipation of a lonely holiday — With more and more seniors living by themselves and family members living further away, there could be a lurking feeling of not seeing their kids or grand kids during the holidays. The “fear” of this, alone, and bring on anxiety, sadness, and depression.

3) Reminders of significant loved ones who have passed on — The holidays can enhance the memories of loved ones who are no longer here.

4) Sadness over how things “used to be” — Memories of holidays in the past that were more festive and closer knit than present celebrations can result in sadness and depression

5) Facing and dealing with failing health — Realizing that, due to health factors, they may not be able to perform activities like in holidays past can agitate and depress many seniors.

However, there are a few things we can ALL do to bring comfort, joy, and cheer back into the holidays for the elderly:

1) Encourage “healthy” reminiscing – Instead of leaving our seniors alone to dwell on the past, spend time with them and encourage them to share their stories and life experiences. Just the simple act of offering a listening ear can provide peace and companionship to the elderly. Also, it allows them to spend more time focusing on the good and “funny” memories instead of the hurtful ones.

2) Involve them in holiday activities – While there may be activities that are too much for them to bare, including them in sending out Christmas cards, placing decorations on the tree, or simply getting their “advice” on a recipe for a holiday treat can help them feel less alone and more involved.

3) Let technology help – Show seniors how to use modern day conveniences like SKYPE to keep in touch. Not only will they enjoy seeing and talking to their loved ones online, but they will feel less “obsolete” in today’s digital world.

4) Volunteer often – For seniors that may be residing in nursing homes and hospices, there can never be enough “quality time” spent. While we all have busy schedules, it is extremely important to carve out a little time, especially at holiday time, to visit some of our more valuable resources (the elderly).

While we can’t be there 24/7, if we just did some of the above as often as we can, it will go a LONG way to reviving the spirit, joy, and feeling of usefulness for our older population. This way, the joy and cheer of the holidays can truly be had by ALL!

Until next time…

Happy and Blessed Holiday Wishes!

Traci
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Recent statistics on life expectancy suggest that this role reversal of the child becoming the parent is more likely to grow. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average life expectancy in the U.S. is now 77.9 years. And according to the Data360 website, the U.S. male’s life expectancy is now 75.68 years and it is 81.58 years for a woman in the U.S.

Many are ill-prepared for the job of parental care giving (I was somewhat “blindsided” when, unexpectedly, I was thrust into the caregiver role). I was not exactly ready for the physical, financial, and emotional demands that my mother required. This is not an unusual circumstance. A recent survey revealed:
63% of caregivers have no plan as to how they will pay for their parent’s care over the next five years.
62% say the cost of caring for a parent has impacted their ability to plan for their own financial future.
34% spend $300 or more per month out of their own pocket for care giving expenses.
48% say they are earning less money at work as a result of care giving.
And, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance, close to 44 million Americans are currently providing unpaid care to another adult, and oftentimes, around the clock. Family members provide approximately 80% of the long-term care given in the U.S.

Here are some tips and advice that may make the transition from the child to the parent, for our parents, a little easier:

For your OWN wellbeing:

Take a daily vitamin supplement – keep your immune system and general health in tiptop shape
Get exercise — make it a priority for both your mental and physical well-being.
Get regular check-ups and do not ignore possible symptoms of ill health.
Take a break from care giving – you need to recharge in order to be effective, mentally and emotionally, in your care giving.
Get a flu shot – it is important not only for your own health, but for the overall health of your parent
Watch for signs of depression – this applies to you as well as your parent.The demands of care giving can often lead to depression and watch for signs of depression in your parent.
Stay involved in hobbies – another outlet to cope with the mental demands of care giving
Laugh with a friend – laughter is indeed a great medicine for you and your parent

For Financial Planning and Advice:
These websites, compiled by the New York Times, offer very helpful advice and guidance to help plan, financially, for the needs of your parent:

BenefitsCheckUp – A search tool developed by the National Council on Aging to determine eligibility for 1,300 benefit programs that help pay for medications, health care, utilities and so forth.

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys – Search by location for members of the association. Provides questions to ask lawyers about qualifications and areas of expertise, and a wide-ranging resource list for the elderly.

National Association of Insurance Commissioners – Free fact sheets and shoppers’ guides for long-term care insurance, annuities and Medigap policies.

Insurance Information Institute

Reverse.org - A consumer’s guide to reverse mortgages from a non-profit with no ties to the industry. Links to the AARP’s calculator for choosing such policies.

ReverseMortgage.org -Similar calculator and search tool to find local lenders, with links to their Web sites.

Nolo – Do-it-yourself legal advice. Wills, powers of attorney and other documents.

Senior Law Home Page – Advice from a New York law firm on the legal and financial issues facing the elderly. state forms for powers of attorney, health care proxies and living wills.

U.S. Living Will Registry – Free state-by-state forms.

American Bar Association Aging Tool Kit – Offers a 10-step process for making end-of-life decisions with worksheets, suggestions and links.

While the demands of being a caregiver to a parent are tough and often challenging, do not lose sight of the rewards as well. This is a time when you can form a closer bond with your parent and give back to them for the sacrifices and efforts they previously gave to you. Remember to cherish this time and embrace this new chapter in the relationship with your parent.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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Jane is the Creator, Editor & Publisher of ‘A String of Pearls’ a worldwide E-zine for women, by women. She has been blogging for approx 9 years and is active in several areas of social networking. She is proactive in learning and applying new technologies to the best advantage of A String of Pearls, and her other online sites. Jane is currently studying IT Web Design. She is a member of the Carindale Writers Group.

In this audio interview, Jane interviews YOURS TRULY (Traci Sanders Campbell) and we talk about our newest project, The Beauty In/Beauty Out Tour. Listen and find out what this tour is all about AND how it can make a great impact on your inner and outer self!

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
Did you enjoy this post? Can it be applied in your life or can it help someone close to you? If so, why not subscribe to this blog!? It is easy, just click on the orange RSS icon (wavy lines) to get a regular feed OR click on the mail icon to get blog updates via email.

You don’t have to be a computer guru to know what the buttons on the image above mean. Many of us have been subjected to the “blue screen of death” on a computer or just simply the computer locking up in the middle of our overdue paper or much needed report for work. When all else fails, we were taught to just put pressure on three little keys on the keyboard: CTRL + ALT + DELETE. Many times, we may lose the very thing we were just working on, but it also gives us a chance to start again and move forward much more than we could before.

That is exactly what we (“TEAM TRACI….Go Team!”) have been doing for the past several months as we have been pretty “quiet”! But, due to your support, emails, interest, and subscriptions, me and those working with me were able to reach MANY people through The C.H.AM.P. Within program (online and in person) and Heroes At Home Radio. Your encouragement allowed us to reach across the seas to our fellow brothers and sisters in Africa and help provide much needed inspiration and tools they could use to have a better life and be better equipped to deal with their day to day challenges. We even started a non profit organization whose goal is to spread the practices and tools of The C.H.A.M.P. Within program to communities nationwide. Not bad for efforts that started just 18 short months ago!

But even still, there was something “missing”. There was a strong need to REBOOT and do the work necessary to move ahead even farther by adding new things, revamping old things, and getting rid of the things that were no longer working or required. Now, we are embarking on an EXPANDED version of the self-help tools of The C.H.A.M.P. Within program to reach more adults and teens, a NEW tour, a NEW media project, and NEW in-person workshops through The C.H.A.M.P. Community Project. We have more resources than ever before and more doors are opening. What a blessing!

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Is it to just brag and show off? Absolutely not! It is to show that sometimes (many times) it is better to put into motion, a little “CTRL”(stop being led around by life or circumstances and become your own leader in your world), “ALT” (ALTer your course if it has become stagnant and/or unfulfilled) and “DELETE” (get rid of things, events, and sometimes even people that are holding you back or getting in your way).

While rebooting a computer can sometimes be a real pain, we are almost always happy when it comes up again and we can make the progress we need on our work. Endure a little temporary “pain” and dare to REBOOT your world. You may be glad you did.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
Did this post feed your spirit? Can it be applied in your life? If so, why not subscribe to this blog!? It is easy, just click on the orange RSS icon (wavy lines) to get a regular feed OR click on the white envelope to get blog updates via email.

This week on Heroes at Home Radio, we spent some quality time talking to two dynamic ladies (Annie Fox and Sarah Newton) about the generation differences as well as character development with children and teens. It was enlightening for me as well…being a product of Generation X and being raised by a single parent.

I can recall viewing relationships as “sacred” and something to strive for in my life. While I did not have a father in my home, I saw how my mother struggled and decided that one day, I would indeed have a healthy marital relationship.

In talking to Sarah Newton from Gen Y Guide this week, she pointed out that unlike Generation X, Generation Y kids view relationships a lot differently. They are not necessarily driven by the desire to have a monogamous, two parent home ideal existence. They embrace alternative relationships much more freely (i.e. same sex marriages, co-habitation without marriage, etc.) Also, Generation Y has a more “I am entitled” feeling and attitude than those in Generation X.

Have we, as a society, created this almost selfish posture in our young people today? Have we somehow through our own preoccupation with work, life, striving to get ahead, forgot to instill certain values and attitudes in our kids?

Now, there is nothing wrong with our young people being more open-minded and embracing and accepting the differences in others. However, we have to make sure that they do not become more obsessed with “me” (the individual) and less focused on “us” (the community at large). Also, Annie Fox talked about parents not relinquishing authority with their kids; that parents must maintain a certain amount of control, but not at the expense of being disrespectful to the child.

Maybe if we all exercised respect to each other (parent to child, child to parent, families to other families, etc.) we could have a Generation Y that is both open-minded, progressive, and accepting…but also less focused on self. Hmm…something to ponder!

Subscribe to our podcast page and hear extraordinary single parents and experts discuss this subject and many more.

Blessings!

Traci

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