Part III: “Adult Preparation”

“Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”
George Dana Boardman

Last time, we left off on the importance of quality family time and its effects in building great character in your teen or tween. [refer to the blog post "Part 2: How to Instill 'Good' (no wait...'Great') Character in Your Teen or Tween: There is No Time Like Quality Time”]. Now, it’s time to talk about the process of equipping teens with the skills needed to be successful adults. This is NOT an easy task! Peer pressure, media messages, and even technology (to a degree) are oftentimes working against parents as they try their hardest to nurture and give the needed tools to help their kids have a great start and a fighting chance in today’s world. Be the old adage is true: “You reap what you sow”. Sowing good “seeds” in your teen’s character development NOW and allowing those seeds to take root will indeed benefit them in the long run as they grow into adults. While we can spend a week just talking about all of the kinds of “seeds” to sow, I just want to take a minute here to highlight a few worth mentioning:

1. Just Say NO! (To alcohol and drugs): This seems like a pretty common sense one, right? Well, there are still PLENTY of households out there that not only take this point for granted, but in some homes, mom and/or dad “party” with their teens. We can not ignore this reality. It is important to reiterate to set the example of ZERO tolerance to alcohol and drug use in and out of the home. Have open and frank conversations about it. Plant the “seed” that many a poor decision and tragic consequence started with… the so-called “harmless” drink or smoke. A parent’s own personal behavior in this area is critical. Make it a “positive” example.

2. A credit card is NOT their best friend: While is it “cute” to have the latest fashions and “fun” to have latest cell phone model, the bill that comes later is FAR from cute and fun! Help your teen not only to appreciate non-material things, but to be a wiser consumer. Limit their spending and at the same time, use this as a teachable moment to instill money management skills. If you are not the best at managing money yourself, maybe you and your teen can use this as a time to learn together (hmmm…another idea for some quality time together here). How you spend and manage your money will truly “rub off” on your teen or tween. Help them to understand that they can still have SOME of the newest material things out there…but they truly don’t need to have ALL of them. 

3. Be the “coolest” teacher: And speaking of the “teachable moment” why not be the person your teen or tween feels very comfortable talking to (and not fearful to talk to). Just the mere act of candid and casual conversations everyday can tell you a LOT about their character development and how to better guide them in the right direction. Use these conversations to talk about and teach traits such as integrity, empathy, and compassion.

4. The Benefits of Chores: No one likes the word “chore”. So let’s use the word “responsibilities” instead. The assignment and completion of these “responsibilities” will set the stage in your teen and tween’s mind that they have obligations to not only themselves, but to others as well. This mindset, if instilled in EVERY young person, would have a huge and positive effect on the whole society. But it all starts with the habits of responsibility established at home, first.

5. The Power of Positive Energy: Have you ever noticed the vast amount of energy “little people” (as I call them) have? Children are bursting with natural energy and they desperately want to channel it…somewhere. Without proper guidance and direction, rest assured, it will be channeled and channeled in a direction you may regret. As the “older ones”, our job is to make sure that energy is channeled in a positive direction (positive hobbies, positive sports, positive friends, positive clubs or organizations, etc.)  so that not only will they develop a sense of caring and cooperation at a young age, but they will desire what is edifying and positive as they transition into adulthood.

I hope you find these “adult prep” ideas help a little. There are MANY more, but just the few “seeds” above will create a strong springboard into adulthood for most teens and tweens. Next time, we will talk about who is really to “boss” at home and why that is important to a teen’s character.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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Another Young and Talented Actress Battling Demons

Last week, the internet world (as well as numerous magazine racks) were filled with negative press and scathing remarks about the latest drama in the world of young celeb, Lindsay Lohan.  I, purposely, did not touch the subject because of the hoards of attention already being cast upon this very unfortunate young woman.  However, the more I read or hear about Ms. Lohan, the more apparent it is to me that underneath the media coverage and tabloid exploitations, is a young woman in dire need of more than just alcohol and/or drug rehab;  she is lacking in many of the C.H.A.M.P. attributes  that I have spoken on previously.  For those “tuning in” to this blog for the very first time, I am the author of the book “The C.H.A.M.P. Within” (www.thechampinyou.com).  And no, I am not trying to use Ms. Lohan’s  plight to plug my book! Instead, her story just underscores what happens when ANY of these key traits is amiss in a young person’s life: Character, Happiness, Attitude, Mentality, and Purpose.

While on the surface she seems to have all of the worldly trappings that most people (and especially teens and tweens who follow her) equate to success – million dollar movie deals, fabulous homes, exotic cars, and non-stop partying – obviously, she is not really a success in her own mind. To be truly successful in this relatively short life we are all given on Earth means that you are content and confident internally, FIRST.  You stand for something (character), you accept and love yourself “as is” (happiness), you are positive and you expect the best to come your way (attitude), you treat yourself- mind and body- with respect and you respect the lives of others (mentality), and you seek to help others in some way as well as embark on a path that keeps you centered and peaceful (purpose).

Where did Ms. Lohan lose her way? Was it a lack of the above shown to her at home? Was it watching her parents self-destruct and then taking on their negative habits unknowingly? Was it trying to drown her self-loathing and discontent with alcohol and/or drugs? Or…maybe it was all of the above. The point is: she CAN be helped and she CAN make a new life for herself by seeking to be her own inner “C.H.A.M.P.” and doing the actual “work” (rehab, prayer, counseling, self-reflection, meditation, affirmations, and reassessing her personal associations) necessary for a REAL change.  A rehab stint alone will not do it…it is just a start. It is the total commitment to a new and healthier mental and emotional lifestyle that will make real change for her.

And what else can we take from her current plight? We can try to make sure our own teens and tweens  do not follow down the same road she has travelled. In an age where celebrities are more or less “demigods” in the eyes of teens and tweens, we must do our part to instill C.H.A.M.P. traits in them as soon (and as early) as possible. My prayers and thoughts are with Ms. Lohan.  I KNOW she can weather this storm and come out stronger than ever on the other side!

Blessings…

Traci

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