In the 80′s [yes, I am proud (well, sort of) to say I am a Gen X baby!] we experienced an era of self-indulgence, excess, and greed like no other. Gordon Gekko (character from the hit movie “Wall Street”), played by Michael Douglas, epitomized the values of many during that time. Jobs were plentiful and Reaganomics was in full swing. Life, for most, was good. Because of this prosperity, many spent small fortunes on cars, clothes, trips, and ALL SORTS of entertainment. And then, just because they could….they went out and spent even MORE on on cars, clothes, trips, and entertainment. The cycle was seemingly never-ending. Narcissism was rampant and directly linked to the amount of cash you had. As a result, young people grew up with a sense that money was the holy grail and to be considered “glamorous and successful”, one had to do whatever they could to obtain as much money as possible.

Fast forward to year 2011. We are definitely not experiencing the widespread financial successes and securities of the 80′s; jobs are lacking, most are more frugal in their spending, and luxurious travel is not as abundant. However, one thing has not changed: Narcissism, especially amongst the younger generation, is at an all time high. We are in the age of “easy and instant celebrity status” and EVERYONE wants a piece of the pie! Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube now make it possible for would be musicians, actors, and even those with zero talent to become the next sensation! But, are we sacrificing previously valued things like education, service to others, family, spirituality, and coming together for a common cause for fame and popularity? Has the “new Narcissism”, which seems more focused on self-promotion due to the economic climate, created an “every man/woman for himself” mentally?

According to a recent survey, eighty-one percent of 18- to 25-year-olds, Generation Y, viewed being rich as their most important or second-most-important life goal and over half felt the same about being famous. And, they noted that they just have to promote themselves in order to get there.

Is self-promotion such a horrible thing? Not really. We have all done it to land a job or to get the person we love to marry us! However, today’s OBSESSIVE self promotion breeds a generation that, unlike previous generations, is less concerned with the plight of others. Lack of valuable resources in fields such as social work or teaching is abundant. And the family unit is becoming smaller and smaller as the emphasis is more on self and less on the next generation.

What can we do? We can start by being examples of “thinking outside of ourselves” to our children, nieces, nephews, and siblings. We can do more for others through service and outreach. We can promote organizations and causes that have less to do with ourselves and more to do with others. We can educate this generation and the next on the need to help others just as much as we help ourselves.

The shaping of an era starts with the mindsets and attitudes at home. Let’s all try to create a NEW “Age of Selflessness” this time around.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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The Power of Transparency Part II

Midweek Motivational Wednesday January 26, 2011

“ By giving people the power to share, we’re making the world more transparent.” ~ Mark Zuckerberg, founder and creator of Facebook

Some of us may remember these three words from our childhood: “Sharing is Caring”. Such a basic and simple concept! But, something happens to most of us from those innocent and hopeful childhood years when we easily and freely embraced these words to the time we are fully entrenched in adulthood. Fear, anger, distrust, disappointment, selfishness, unforgiveness, and jealously are just a few of the things we either develop personally or experience from others…or both. We move further and further away from those simple, yet profound words we heard as kids. And, as a result, we hurt ourselves and others in the process as we close off ourselves mentally and sometimes, emotionally.

So what are some specific reasons why people are just so doggone afraid to share themselves and be transparent? This is a short list to ponder:

“I may be rejected”: Well, this could prove true. You MAY be rejected. But, that is not what is important. It is not about YOU. Exposing ourselves and sharing is what gives us power whether the other person accepts this gift or not. Instead of focusing on the possible rejection, focus on the fact that your life experiences and viewpoints are needed by someone. If one person brushes it off, then know that he or she was not ready to receive your gift and move on.

“I may be viewed as imperfect and I will feel ashamed”: Well, I have some news for you here….you ARE imperfect and we have ALL done things we feel shame about. So rest assured that you are not alone in this regard! People respond best to someone they feel can relate to them and they can relate to. Being so-called “perfect” is not only impossible (we are human, thus we are sinful by nature. And that is not perfect!), but it puts up an unspoken barrier between you and someone who may benefit from your life experiences. God himself was very transparent; He did not hide nor was He ashamed. And, He does not hold our past against us: Isaiah 43:25 – “I, I am HE who blots out your transgressions (sins, past mistakes) for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Instead of dwelling on the imperfection…promote the journey you traveled and the lessons you learned. Then, the sting of shame may be less important to you.

“I really don’t have much to say or share”: This is probably one of the main stumbling blocks to transparency. Somehow, most people have it in their heads that they must discover the next planet in the solar system or create a cure for the common cold in order to have something worthwhile to share. What’s even sadder is when this attitude is seen in young people. Guess what? Most of us have never walked on the moon or sailed around the world! But, we have lived, struggled, and learned some things along the way. That is all that is needed. Nothing supernatural or extraordinary…just the everyday things we all experience may lead you to someone who is also struggling with those same everyday problems and needs a helping hand. In short, we ALL have something of value to share with someone else.

In the end, the key is to be “real”. Whoever you are and whatever you have to share – your thoughts, actions, experiences – can only make a real difference in the world if you are willing to open up and allow others to see.

And if our purpose is to be more like HIM in our lives, then transparency is really not a choice…it is a necessity.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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While we want to keep our minds and spirits filled with positive and edifying thoughts and information, we can not bury our heads in the sand and ignore the harsh reality we live in today. This harshness, unfortunately, preys on the most vulnerable of our society….teens and tweens.  To better protect and raise teens and tweens with healthy minds and bodies, we must stay informed.  However, the following will be quite disturbing to some, thus, I apologize in advance. Since 2008, the amount of teen prostitution (mostly young girls between 13 and 18 years old) has seen a sharp increase.  Here are just some of the unbelievable and traumatic facts compiled by Melissa Farley at prostitutionresearch.com:

Average age of girls entering prostitution: 13.5

Girls who reported a history of sexual abuse in childhood: 85%

Girls who reported a history of incest: 70%

Those who have/had pimps: 90%

Those who reported rape by pimps: 85%

Those who cited porn as a tool to teach what they were expected to do: 52%

Those coerced into prostitution and attempted suicide: 75%

Completed suicides of prostituted girls reported by all hospitals:  15%

And it has been determined that girls and women in prostitution have a 40% higher mortality rate than the national average. The above statistics pertain to the teen prostitution epidemic in our streets. But what about the fledgling epidemic that’s occurring online? Recently, the popular site, Craigslist, shut down its adult services section due to the increase in prostitution and other unspeakable issues that arose. But, as little as two months ago, a prostitution ring was uncovered on Facebook.  Two men in Indonesia were arrested for running a prostitution service through the popular social media site. Through their service, young girls between 15 and 16 years old, who were already being managed by pimps, were then “set up” with men who saw their pictures on Facebook. The men’s requests were forwarded to the girls’ pimps who arranged the meeting.  The men from Indonesia and the pimps made money from this unscrupulous exchange…the girls, however, made absolutely no money at all.  While the men from Indonesia, who came up with this idea, were taken into custody by their local police, the pimps were not. And what’s even sadder, the girls were not assisted in any way to lead them from this life of vile exploitation. It has been noted that girls from broken homes and troubled backgrounds are much more likely to become easy prey for pimps. They prey on girls with low self esteem and those who are looking for validation any way they can find it. Now, these predators are making their way online to recruit even more vulnerable young women.  This raises a huge concern in two areas that we ALL need to give much more attention:  1) The mental, emotional, and spiritual health of young women (and men) today so that they are not easy victims and 2) The safety factor of the online experience of our teens and tweens.  Let’s not continue to bury our heads in the proverbial sand. Instead, let’s make EVERY effort to help teens and tweens, regardless of their familial background, live safely and securely in this world today.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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Teens and Tweens face hidden dangers lurking on social media like Facebook

In October of 2009, young Ashleigh Hall did what a lot of teenagers her age do: lie to their parents, sneak off, and meet a young boy or girl for a seemingly innocent romantic rendezvous. However, in Ashleigh’s case, this rendezvous was not innocent nor did it involve a young boy or girl. She, unknowingly, met her demise at the hand of a 32 year old man. [See the full story at: http://www.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20091028-176414.html]

In a similar fashion, 12 year old Justin Bloxom was lured to what he thought was a romantic meeting with a young girl one night in April 2010. He took a cab to their agreed upon location and was dead just 2 hours later. [Refer to: http://www.bdcradio.com/index.php/2010/04/01/12-year-old-stonewall-boy-killed-due-to-online-predator/]

What do the plight of Ashleigh and Justin have in common? Both of these innocent victims met their “romantic interest” via Facebook and later struck up frequent communications that lead to their early deaths. Unfortunately, these are just two stories in the horribly growing number of deaths and/or abductions because of the lack of safety education teens and tweens have when using social media such as Facebook.

McAfee (as in the company who produces the commonly known McAfee anti-virus software) recently conducted a survey of teens between the ages of 13-17 that sadly supports the fact that the next generation truly has no clue how “unsafe” they are online.

Here is what they found:

69 percent of teens easily revealed their physical location

28 percent engaged in chat sessions with strangers

And to make matters worse, those teens who engaged in conversation online with strangers (folks they did NOT know offline), the following was found:

43 percent gave out their first name
24 percent gave out their email address
18 percent shared photos of themselves
12 percent shared their cell phone number

What’s even scarier is that girls were found to be “easier targets” than boys: 32% of the girls polled revealed that they “talked” with strangers online vs. 24% of boys who were polled.

I do not share this information to terrify you into banning your teens and tweens from the computer forever. But, a bit of “healthy fear” is needed to protect young people. We need to educate them to the reality of online predators and pedophiles out there. If the parents are basically “clueless” to this information, then we surely can not expect teens and tweens to be equipped to handle their selves properly online. In short, parents, and even those who aren’t parents but have relatives who are teenagers or tweens, need to be educated and focused on the issue of online safety and security. Teenagers and tweens need to begin to take more responsibility for their own online safety. Lastly, more monitoring of what types of media kids consume is critical…and, as we see, can prove to be a life or death situation.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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Becoming a staple in our everyday lives.

I am a true news and information junkie. I can’t help it! My husband says I have “dweeb-ish” tendencies. Basically, he is calling me a “nerd” that absolutely LOVES news, trends, and anything that involves statistics and numbers. Well, he may actually be right! But, while there is a LOT of mindless, useless, “junk” statistics and news reports out there for your mind-numbing pleasure, I truly felt that these  statistics were worth knowing since they involve something that has become as ingrained in our everyday lives as watching TV or going to McDonald’s. Yep, you guessed it – FACEBOOK.

Amongst females, it was the group of women of a “certain age” that are the fastest growing group of females using facebook (48-65 yrs. old).  And, not surprising, the largest group of “facebookers” (can I coin that phrase or is it already taken?) are those between 18-25 years old – closely followed by those between 26-34 years of age.  But, the teen and tween stats are even more interesting:

Overall, the fastest growing group of  facebook users is teen males between 13-17 years old

Over 4.9 million facebook users are females between 13-17 years old

About 3.7 million facebook users are males between 13-17 years old

54% of teens between 13-14 years old have a facebook page

Teens between the ages of 15-17 spend approximately

19.9 hours online every week (that is almost HALF a work week for most adults!)

So why am I spending time here talking about these statistics?  Of course we all know (or have an idea) of the impact Facebook has made on the world and especially amongst teens. However, with staggering numbers like the ones above, we need to realize that tweens and teens are spending much more time in their facebook world than with their parents or others at home. They are potentially being influenced greatly by what they see and who they interact with on facebook. And lastly, so much preoccupation with facebook may not be the “healthiest” usage of their time (especially, as we see above, the average teenager is putting in the equivalent of half a week’s work by their parents… on facebook alone).  These are things to ponder and consider as we prepare the next generation mentally and emotionally.

And….did I mention that their “safety” is also a factor?  Well, we’ll save that conversation for the next post.

Until next time …

Blessings!

Traci

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