In the 80′s [yes, I am proud (well, sort of) to say I am a Gen X baby!] we experienced an era of self-indulgence, excess, and greed like no other. Gordon Gekko (character from the hit movie “Wall Street”), played by Michael Douglas, epitomized the values of many during that time. Jobs were plentiful and Reaganomics was in full swing. Life, for most, was good. Because of this prosperity, many spent small fortunes on cars, clothes, trips, and ALL SORTS of entertainment. And then, just because they could….they went out and spent even MORE on on cars, clothes, trips, and entertainment. The cycle was seemingly never-ending. Narcissism was rampant and directly linked to the amount of cash you had. As a result, young people grew up with a sense that money was the holy grail and to be considered “glamorous and successful”, one had to do whatever they could to obtain as much money as possible.

Fast forward to year 2011. We are definitely not experiencing the widespread financial successes and securities of the 80′s; jobs are lacking, most are more frugal in their spending, and luxurious travel is not as abundant. However, one thing has not changed: Narcissism, especially amongst the younger generation, is at an all time high. We are in the age of “easy and instant celebrity status” and EVERYONE wants a piece of the pie! Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube now make it possible for would be musicians, actors, and even those with zero talent to become the next sensation! But, are we sacrificing previously valued things like education, service to others, family, spirituality, and coming together for a common cause for fame and popularity? Has the “new Narcissism”, which seems more focused on self-promotion due to the economic climate, created an “every man/woman for himself” mentally?

According to a recent survey, eighty-one percent of 18- to 25-year-olds, Generation Y, viewed being rich as their most important or second-most-important life goal and over half felt the same about being famous. And, they noted that they just have to promote themselves in order to get there.

Is self-promotion such a horrible thing? Not really. We have all done it to land a job or to get the person we love to marry us! However, today’s OBSESSIVE self promotion breeds a generation that, unlike previous generations, is less concerned with the plight of others. Lack of valuable resources in fields such as social work or teaching is abundant. And the family unit is becoming smaller and smaller as the emphasis is more on self and less on the next generation.

What can we do? We can start by being examples of “thinking outside of ourselves” to our children, nieces, nephews, and siblings. We can do more for others through service and outreach. We can promote organizations and causes that have less to do with ourselves and more to do with others. We can educate this generation and the next on the need to help others just as much as we help ourselves.

The shaping of an era starts with the mindsets and attitudes at home. Let’s all try to create a NEW “Age of Selflessness” this time around.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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“Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in” ~ Mark Twain

The above quote by Mark Twain is more accurate than most people realize! None of us (not a one) are worthy of the protection, guidance, opportunities, or skills we take for granted each day. We get up every morning, go to work, come home and in between…we get to talk to family and friends. We catch the train or drive to and from our destinations with the blind assurance that all will be well and okay. We do not give it a second thought. However, if this blind assurance came based on our individual behaviors, thoughts, and treatment of others…I would be scared to think of the fate of most of us (remember….Mother Theresa is no longer living amongst us and she far exceeded the actions of the average person like you or me!).

So where am I going with all of this?  I am building my case that we ALL need to operate in what I like to call “The FAVOR Mindset”.  It is simply recognizing that we are able to do what we do not totally based on our own skills and abilities. But more than that, we are able to do these things based on the favor we are given by God and by others. In turn, we need to develop the mindset and attitude to show favor to others. It is a daily practice of  asking for favor, being thankful for favor, and being willing to show favor. It sounds simple and maybe even abstract to many, but it is a crucial mind shift that will pay BIG dividends.

And what exactly is favor? By definition it is: “excessive kindness or unfair partiality; preferential treatment” or “a gift bestowed as a token of goodwill, kind regard, love, etc. that is not earned by works or labor” So we see that favor is not earned and it is not something you buy. It has nothing to do with popularity or where you came from or how much money you have. It is an act of love and it is a mindset.

When I look at my generation (Generation X) and the current generation (Generation Y), this concept of favor is very blurred. Favor is generally given to those who have money, looks, and connections. But what about the mailperson who delivers your mail no matter how bad the weather is outside? What about your own parent or sibling who is there for you no matter what the circumstance? Are these folks not worthy of being shown favor and appreciation? We need to step back and examine our own mindsets and what we are passing on to our teens and tweens as well. The formula is simple:  If you ask for favor and show favor to others, you will receive favor in return. And sometimes, favor in a given situation or circumstance is a much bigger help and a FAR BETTER asset to have than money or popularity.

Until next week …

Blessings!

Traci

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This week on Heroes at Home Radio, we spent some quality time talking to two dynamic ladies (Annie Fox and Sarah Newton) about the generation differences as well as character development with children and teens. It was enlightening for me as well…being a product of Generation X and being raised by a single parent.

I can recall viewing relationships as “sacred” and something to strive for in my life. While I did not have a father in my home, I saw how my mother struggled and decided that one day, I would indeed have a healthy marital relationship.

In talking to Sarah Newton from Gen Y Guide this week, she pointed out that unlike Generation X, Generation Y kids view relationships a lot differently. They are not necessarily driven by the desire to have a monogamous, two parent home ideal existence. They embrace alternative relationships much more freely (i.e. same sex marriages, co-habitation without marriage, etc.) Also, Generation Y has a more “I am entitled” feeling and attitude than those in Generation X.

Have we, as a society, created this almost selfish posture in our young people today? Have we somehow through our own preoccupation with work, life, striving to get ahead, forgot to instill certain values and attitudes in our kids?

Now, there is nothing wrong with our young people being more open-minded and embracing and accepting the differences in others. However, we have to make sure that they do not become more obsessed with “me” (the individual) and less focused on “us” (the community at large). Also, Annie Fox talked about parents not relinquishing authority with their kids; that parents must maintain a certain amount of control, but not at the expense of being disrespectful to the child.

Maybe if we all exercised respect to each other (parent to child, child to parent, families to other families, etc.) we could have a Generation Y that is both open-minded, progressive, and accepting…but also less focused on self. Hmm…something to ponder!

Subscribe to our podcast page and hear extraordinary single parents and experts discuss this subject and many more.

Blessings!

Traci

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