The demise of ANY relationship, in this case the divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, is a somber event and most would prefer to deal with the issues surrounding such a breakup in private. However, when your last name is Kardashian, it becomes imperative to share the details, almost play by play, with the world at large. But what is it, exactly, that makes teen girls idolize this family (especially Kim Kardashian) and, despite what you may say, even us adults just can’t help ourselves from gossiping about the this family’s late breaking news?

In an article actually published by Fox News last year about the Kardashians, notes that Kim Kardashian,in particular, is a fashion icon for many young girls. She epitomizes modern day glamour and success which is a strong obsession that we see many young people in Generation Y experiencing. Unlike other “heiresses” she has been able to create a very profitable conglomerate based on her image, products, and exploits (sex tapes, playboy spreads, weight loss pills, self tanners, etc.) While those achievements are stellar in the business realm, the other message that is being sent and embraced by Gen Y is that it is BETTER to be beautiful and famous than to to smart and “regular”. As a result of this first family of reality TV, the Kardashians have triggered a ripple effect that has many would be doctors and lawyers opting, instead, to try to become the next best rapper or reality TV star. Did they do this on purpose? Probably not. But the “reality” (no pun intended) is that the bombardment of their presence on TV and online has a definite effect on the minds and attitudes of the current generation.

What do you think of the Kardashian’s effect (positive or negative) on this current generation (Gen Y)?

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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In the 80′s [yes, I am proud (well, sort of) to say I am a Gen X baby!] we experienced an era of self-indulgence, excess, and greed like no other. Gordon Gekko (character from the hit movie “Wall Street”), played by Michael Douglas, epitomized the values of many during that time. Jobs were plentiful and Reaganomics was in full swing. Life, for most, was good. Because of this prosperity, many spent small fortunes on cars, clothes, trips, and ALL SORTS of entertainment. And then, just because they could….they went out and spent even MORE on on cars, clothes, trips, and entertainment. The cycle was seemingly never-ending. Narcissism was rampant and directly linked to the amount of cash you had. As a result, young people grew up with a sense that money was the holy grail and to be considered “glamorous and successful”, one had to do whatever they could to obtain as much money as possible.

Fast forward to year 2011. We are definitely not experiencing the widespread financial successes and securities of the 80′s; jobs are lacking, most are more frugal in their spending, and luxurious travel is not as abundant. However, one thing has not changed: Narcissism, especially amongst the younger generation, is at an all time high. We are in the age of “easy and instant celebrity status” and EVERYONE wants a piece of the pie! Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube now make it possible for would be musicians, actors, and even those with zero talent to become the next sensation! But, are we sacrificing previously valued things like education, service to others, family, spirituality, and coming together for a common cause for fame and popularity? Has the “new Narcissism”, which seems more focused on self-promotion due to the economic climate, created an “every man/woman for himself” mentally?

According to a recent survey, eighty-one percent of 18- to 25-year-olds, Generation Y, viewed being rich as their most important or second-most-important life goal and over half felt the same about being famous. And, they noted that they just have to promote themselves in order to get there.

Is self-promotion such a horrible thing? Not really. We have all done it to land a job or to get the person we love to marry us! However, today’s OBSESSIVE self promotion breeds a generation that, unlike previous generations, is less concerned with the plight of others. Lack of valuable resources in fields such as social work or teaching is abundant. And the family unit is becoming smaller and smaller as the emphasis is more on self and less on the next generation.

What can we do? We can start by being examples of “thinking outside of ourselves” to our children, nieces, nephews, and siblings. We can do more for others through service and outreach. We can promote organizations and causes that have less to do with ourselves and more to do with others. We can educate this generation and the next on the need to help others just as much as we help ourselves.

The shaping of an era starts with the mindsets and attitudes at home. Let’s all try to create a NEW “Age of Selflessness” this time around.

Until next time…

Blessings!

Traci
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There is no denying that we are living in a generation of “wanna be” celebrities and athletes. There was a time when little boys and little girls aspired to be doctors and lawyers. Now, their role models are L’il Wayne or LeBron James. While there is nothing wrong with teens wanting to be like someone else (as long as the “someone else” is a POSITIVE role model), teens in generation Y are more apt to go to extreme measures for that fame than they did in previous generations. Due an increase in overall athletic competitiveness and a decrease in school funds and scholarships, the potential to be a star athlete has more allure and more appeal than ever before. And with that allure and appeal comes the rise in steroid use amongst teen athletes.

The rise of teenage steroid use and the resultant suicides and abuse have lead to the creation of anti-steroid organizations such as the Taylor Hooten Foundation (http://taylorhooten.org). Taylor Hooten, a promising athlete in baseball, took his own life as in July 2003 as a result of depression he experienced from the use of anabolic steroids. This is just one of many stories that are making the news daily regarding steroid use with individuals under the age of 20 years old.

Meanwhile, many states have cut funds that were previously earmarked for steroid testing in athletes. For example, the state of Texas tested approximately 35,000 teen athletes in 2007-2008. However, between 2010-2011, only a little over 4,500 are scheduled for testing. In states like Delaware, steroid testing has not even started due to concerns of “cheating” on the tests. “The cost didn’t seem to make the bang worth the buck because testing was so easily beaten,” Kevin Charles, executive director of the Delaware Interscholastic Athletic Association said. “We had a real good presentation by a medical intern on how easily one can beat drug testing.” (see more info at: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/010211dnsposteroids-lede.7c36f4.html)

So what can we, as parents and concerned citizens, do to avoid stories like Taylor Hooten? How can we help this current generation overcome the appeal to resort to steroids in order to be the next Brett Favre or Venus Williams? The first step is education. Taking time to talk about the long term dangers of steroid use is vital to guiding teens away from the allure of steroids. Open communication and education may be the saving grace that will equip them (mentally and emotionally) to stand strong against the ever present pressure to be ahead of their peers. To help with these conversations, here are some of the long term health consequences of steroid use (info taken from: http://www.focusas.com/Steroids.html):

• In boys and men, reduced sperm production, shrinking of the testicles, impotence, difficulty or pain in urinating, baldness, and irreversible breast enlargement (gynecomastia).

• In girls and women, development of more masculine characteristics, such as decreased body fat and breast size, deepening of the voice, excessive growth of body hair, and loss of scalp hair, as well as clitoral enlargement.

• In adolescents of both sexes, premature termination of the adolescent growth spurt, so that for the rest of their lives, abusers remain shorter than they would have been without the drugs.

• In males and females of all ages, potentially fatal liver cysts and liver cancer; blood clotting, cholesterol changes, and hypertension, each of which can promote heart attack and stroke; and acne. Although not all scientists agree, some interpret available evidence to show that anabolic steroid abuse- – particularly in high doses — promotes aggression that can manifest itself as fighting, physical and sexual abuse, armed robbery, and property crimes such as burglary and vandalism. Upon stopping anabolic steroids, some abusers experience symptoms of depressed mood, fatigue, restlessness, loss of appetite, insomnia, reduced sex drive, headache, muscle and joint pain, and the desire to take more anabolic steroids.

The second step is being aware of the signs of steroid use, if the teen has already started using, before it is too late. Here are some behavioral and emotional traits to watch out for:

• Quick weight and muscle gains (when used in a weight training program)
• Aggressiveness and combativeness (change in attitude and temperament)
• Jaundice
• Purple or red spots on the body
• Swelling of feet and lower legs
• Trembling
• Unexplained darkening of the skin
• Persistent unpleasant breath odor
• Severe acne breakouts and oily skin

While less and less teen athletes are being tested for steroid use due to lack of state funds, yet, the use of steroids is increasing, the need for “steroid education” is at an all time high. Start by educating yourself and being aware of this trend before it truly is too late.

Until next time…

—- Traci
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“Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in” ~ Mark Twain

The above quote by Mark Twain is more accurate than most people realize! None of us (not a one) are worthy of the protection, guidance, opportunities, or skills we take for granted each day. We get up every morning, go to work, come home and in between…we get to talk to family and friends. We catch the train or drive to and from our destinations with the blind assurance that all will be well and okay. We do not give it a second thought. However, if this blind assurance came based on our individual behaviors, thoughts, and treatment of others…I would be scared to think of the fate of most of us (remember….Mother Theresa is no longer living amongst us and she far exceeded the actions of the average person like you or me!).

So where am I going with all of this?  I am building my case that we ALL need to operate in what I like to call “The FAVOR Mindset”.  It is simply recognizing that we are able to do what we do not totally based on our own skills and abilities. But more than that, we are able to do these things based on the favor we are given by God and by others. In turn, we need to develop the mindset and attitude to show favor to others. It is a daily practice of  asking for favor, being thankful for favor, and being willing to show favor. It sounds simple and maybe even abstract to many, but it is a crucial mind shift that will pay BIG dividends.

And what exactly is favor? By definition it is: “excessive kindness or unfair partiality; preferential treatment” or “a gift bestowed as a token of goodwill, kind regard, love, etc. that is not earned by works or labor” So we see that favor is not earned and it is not something you buy. It has nothing to do with popularity or where you came from or how much money you have. It is an act of love and it is a mindset.

When I look at my generation (Generation X) and the current generation (Generation Y), this concept of favor is very blurred. Favor is generally given to those who have money, looks, and connections. But what about the mailperson who delivers your mail no matter how bad the weather is outside? What about your own parent or sibling who is there for you no matter what the circumstance? Are these folks not worthy of being shown favor and appreciation? We need to step back and examine our own mindsets and what we are passing on to our teens and tweens as well. The formula is simple:  If you ask for favor and show favor to others, you will receive favor in return. And sometimes, favor in a given situation or circumstance is a much bigger help and a FAR BETTER asset to have than money or popularity.

Until next week …

Blessings!

Traci

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We have come a LOONNGG way from the “baby boomer” generation (the generation of my older siblings) who suffered through civil rights, Watergate, and the Vietnam war to the current generation whose main dilemmas seem to be “Which cell phone do I buy or do I just get an iPad instead?” Don’t get me wrong, the current generation (those born between 1982 and 2002) may very well be saddled with an enormous economic debt (trillions of dollars potentially) and a defuncted social security system. Not to mention a severe lack of funds and help for college. But, it appears most teens aren’t too concerned with these potential disasters. I, for one, do not see many teens out rallying and protesting against these ills. Instead, they seem very preoccupied with material things, celebrity obsessions, and seeing themselves on YouTube.

To me, self-entitlement is on the rise and public service is taking a nose dive, in general, with the current generation. I guess the real questions to ask are: Is this generation, focused on “me, myself, and I”, the product of the too much parental spoiling? Or are they correct in taking a more “positve attitude” approach to things and not worrying about the challenges that lay ahead for them? Could generation “Me” simply be displaying more self-assurance than previous generations who were quicker to take more drastic measures ( i.e. protests, riots, sit-ins)?

Hmmm…what do you think? Please do provide comments on this post…can’t wait to hear from you all!

Blessings…

Traci

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This week on Heroes at Home Radio, we spent some quality time talking to two dynamic ladies (Annie Fox and Sarah Newton) about the generation differences as well as character development with children and teens. It was enlightening for me as well…being a product of Generation X and being raised by a single parent.

I can recall viewing relationships as “sacred” and something to strive for in my life. While I did not have a father in my home, I saw how my mother struggled and decided that one day, I would indeed have a healthy marital relationship.

In talking to Sarah Newton from Gen Y Guide this week, she pointed out that unlike Generation X, Generation Y kids view relationships a lot differently. They are not necessarily driven by the desire to have a monogamous, two parent home ideal existence. They embrace alternative relationships much more freely (i.e. same sex marriages, co-habitation without marriage, etc.) Also, Generation Y has a more “I am entitled” feeling and attitude than those in Generation X.

Have we, as a society, created this almost selfish posture in our young people today? Have we somehow through our own preoccupation with work, life, striving to get ahead, forgot to instill certain values and attitudes in our kids?

Now, there is nothing wrong with our young people being more open-minded and embracing and accepting the differences in others. However, we have to make sure that they do not become more obsessed with “me” (the individual) and less focused on “us” (the community at large). Also, Annie Fox talked about parents not relinquishing authority with their kids; that parents must maintain a certain amount of control, but not at the expense of being disrespectful to the child.

Maybe if we all exercised respect to each other (parent to child, child to parent, families to other families, etc.) we could have a Generation Y that is both open-minded, progressive, and accepting…but also less focused on self. Hmm…something to ponder!

Subscribe to our podcast page and hear extraordinary single parents and experts discuss this subject and many more.

Blessings!

Traci

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